Measuring productivity is a distraction
Let this letter serve as an invitation to think more deeply about the things you record and the energy you spend thinking about productivity.
↪ How much time do you spend focused on your ability to be productive, versus your ability to be impactful and impacted?
When your goal is to be ‘productive’ you inherently manifest ‘busy’.
You become busy with all manor of things with less discernment for what is truly important both for you and for what you are aiming to impact.
On the other hand, aiming to be impactful inherently brings your focus to the kind of deep learning, deep work, and deep rest that is necessary to bring about true impact. This kind of discernment strips away the ‘busy work’ and irrelevant tasks that eat away at our ability to be powerful, magnetic and attract change.
The worshiping of ‘productivity levels’ undermines the need for patience and careful determination, the need for space and grace to process your work and your journey. Deeply fulfilling success works hand in hand with divine timing, a push and pull, give and take between what you can do and what must be offered from the outside.
Yet, so many of us get stuck in self-deprecating cycles of trying to prove to the world that we are ‘productive members of society’, not through impact and passion, but through looking busy and miserable.
Before I shifted my focus and started to go deeper with my purpose in life, I found safety creating productivity and study content because I felt it projected into the world that I was, in fact, one of those 'productive members of society'. That I was in fact tremendously hard working and that my sacrifice of self for work would be rewarded. I found every way to record how hard I was working in each day, and I spent all my time trying to figure out how to do the most possible in a day. I was constantly in a cycle of burnout, and was deeply frustrated by the results I was seeing. Nothing was ever enough. Not for me, not for my family, not for my audience, not for my wallet.
At some point, I realised that for all my hard work, and for all my frustration— all this productivity wasn't bringing me anywhere. I was constantly tired and constantly trying my absolute best, but I wasn’t any closer to who I wanted to be. Who I wanted to be and what I was proud of, wasn’t at all tied to productivity and how much work I was able to produce in a short amount of time. Rather, the vision I had of a happy, successful self had everything to do with a version of me with a high capacity for rest and pleasure. Even the milestones that I had achieved already and was most proud of sharing didn't come from some never ending, self-sacrificial grind, it came from living in the moment, following my interests, and letting my passion shine through in every room I was in. I only felt I had to be a busy and a highly productive person to earn said pleasure and to gain recognition for those things, that ultimately I already had access to. The message I was sending to myself was that I was not allowed to be successful unless I was in a state of battle and misery— the Protestant Work Ethic running through my veins.
Hey frennies, I’m Rae and this is my newsletter and blog where I am supporting the narrative that we can find happiness outside of the matrix with musings, poetry, opportunities and lived examples. Here's how we achieve that: practising inner work, centring community, expanding our perspectives, doing soul aligning work, and expanding our capacity for pleasure.
It is truly difficult to shift yourself away from chasing external validation from the mechanism to tuning deeply into yourself and what you truly want. Even now, I go through a daily battle and a bit of melancholy as I bid my past self, who got me this far, farewell. It is bitter sweet, as her fighting spirit fades away and makes space for the new, slower me.
But it has to be done, not only for you, but for everyone who will be impacted by you. Your choice to have boundaries and to align with your most deepest of dreams is a public service that adds to a domino affect supporting empowerment for all.
The satisfaction of seeing how many focus hours have been logged.
The satisfaction of hearing the 'tick' sound after a checked off task.
The satisfaction of full pages and progress bars.
That satisfaction is merely a facade. It is a bandaid that we put on to cover up how badly we want to feel of service, how badly we want to feel impressive to (the mechanism). It is a distraction from the deep lack of direction we truly have; cut off from our natural compass. It is something we show ourselves to feel we are moving towards depth, that we are getting closer to value-- when in fact, we are just running laps in circles.
This applies to any space, but it is especially true for the language learning space. Languages are tools to make connections with our global community, connections with our human heritage, and to shift world shifting paradigms. It is a tool that should grow you, bring you out of your comfort zone and give you access to a plethora of new experiences. Yet many of us spend most of our time talking about productivity statistics.
The same can be said about STEM, or spirituality, or business. Each of the ways we find fulfilment in life are a means to greater connection, action and love, but often we spend the most time sharing and being influenced by metrics and numbers.
Let this letter serve as an invitation to think more deeply about the things you record and the energy you spend thinking about productivity. Perhaps instead of pushing yourself to be discipline in the name of numbers, you can find discipline naturally through the motivation of love— the love for yourself, and for those you will inevitably impact through your happiness.
some things that inspired this love letter:
last week’s post on productivity with human design
- ’s podcast episode on collective dreaming
couldn’t find the exact post, but it was a reel by AT inspiredmediaco on instagram, where she was talking about how building a brand someone else’s way isn’t worth it even when it is successful
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